The Sweet Guy

I don’t know if it should be comforting that two people I’ve not met in real life so quickly voiced their opinions on whether or not I’m a sweet guy. Not to degrade your comments (♥ Lizzy and ♥ Lugburz), but I wonder if it is a comment on the difference in the personas I project via the Internet and via my public life (speaking about those those I don’t generally care for).Am I better (best?) described as the guy on the Internet? Or the guy most people seem to think I am? Is it likely that there exists a blend, perhaps that the best of both worlds is brought out in me via the Internet? If so, how could I work to bring the parts of me that I consider to be a better representation of myself into the real world and out of the virtual reality?

Is this perhaps a guy-thing? That there’s the sweet guy [girl] in all of us, but not always is it immediately visible to those immediately surrounding us? If so, than I’m not as special as I thought I was (thanks for the ego boost and the subsequent ego loss! ;D). If not, which guys are the sweet ones inside that you know in person? Or, are there guys you think might be sweet, but haven’t gotten to know? Why haven’t you gotten to know them? Do you think you’ll be injured in the process somehow? Or do they just so easily and quickly put you off that you’re in the uncomfortable position of thinking but not knowing that there’s a soft core inside?

I think that in speaking on many things, I come across as harsh, or not-caring, or even as if I’m not trying to help in some way. This frustrates both me and the person who I am trying to help, to no end. I’m sure that this contributes in some way to public opinion… How can I fix that? I know no other way than attempting to reach out when somebody asks for help, but are there times when it would be possible for me to show that I really am this guy that would really like to help?

Or perhaps I’m inputting a little too much thought into the question, especially given that it is so late and that so many are probably disinterested in a little post on Facebook (ooo, another question to mull over!)? What do you think? Leave a note on the Facebook status in question, or here if you have a WordPress account! Even, email me about an answer, if you are unable to do one of those two things.

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2 Responses to The Sweet Guy

  1. Arideni says:

    I think it’s a human tendency to view sensitivity, predominantly among males in some cultures, as a weakness. The very fact one can be attentive to others needs is not a weakness, but a strength. One who is able to predict how something may affect another can take initiative to help them.

    I went through two other examples including helping an elderly man across the street and raising the toilet lid for women before I realized the simplest example is common courtesy.

    Holding the door open for the person walking behind you. Spraying deodorizer in the office bathroom after relieving yourself. Refilling the ice trays in your refrigerator at home.

    It’s the simple things we do for others they notice the most. Perhaps they won’t grovel at your feet immediately, but even if you piss on the toilet rim they won’t mind as much as if you left the lid up. Over time, they’ll realize how considerate a person you are through your actions.

    These can reverberate through other things in your life, too. Just don’t ask me to explain how, I’m not sure I could. . .

  2. Nicholas says:

    As the former poster says, humans have the capability to be formed, by everything around them. We learn unconsciously via mediums imposed time after time upon us. And we accept them little by little because we do not understand them. Our mentalities reflect what we’ve let soak in.

    It might also be a good idea to take upon the ideology of selflessly caring unconditionally, because no matter how many people you will try to help and no matter how many people you DO succeed in helping and they claim to be in-debt for it, finding such people seldom recurs. We all live in the same system generally, and various subsystems derived from it… more and more we learn to only care for ourselves and not those whom matter around us.

    In my experience, being a patient “nice” person, over time “they” will realise that you are a caring helpful person, and it usually ends up in people taking advantage of you. ( That is where patients and an unconditioned way of thinking comes in. ) Not always do we need to receive something to feel comfortable giving back.

    All that information aside, you are who you are. Even if you’ve trouble expressing yourself the way you wish to outside of the “virtual reality”, your will and mentality and wish to help is inside of you, it’s all there. You just have to practice to get it out…

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